I have learned that kids will model everything we do and say. If I take time for working out a solution to their problem or my own, they will too. If I yell and huff and puff they will too.
We went skiing today and my oldest had an itch. Walking back to the car she lay on the snow screaming, "Itchy, itchy". Wow, that is what I look like when I am at the end of my rope, or in the "Rabbitt Hole" as our friends at Parenting On Track like to say.
I read somewhere that yelling is the new spanking. I am banning myself from yelling and dedicating myself to wearing my ear muffs whenever I need to escape the screaming! Got it. For more information on this learning moment go tochapter 2 in Parenting On Track.
Good Luck!
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Now its their turn
Now how do I teach them that the decisions they made while making cookies will help them in any situation from the morning routine to sharing? Maybe Vicki could weigh in on this one?
Thursday, December 17, 2009
My List
My useless behaviors:
1. Yelling
2. Stomping my feet
3. Sighing
Behaviors to replace my useless behaviors:
1. Singing
2. Dancing
3. Ear muffs
I will see how these go for seven days. Posting them on the fridge for all to see. This keeps me accountable. If you are lucky I will post a video. I am working from parts of chapter 2 and chapter 10 in the Parenting On Track program.
1. Yelling
2. Stomping my feet
3. Sighing
Behaviors to replace my useless behaviors:
1. Singing
2. Dancing
3. Ear muffs
I will see how these go for seven days. Posting them on the fridge for all to see. This keeps me accountable. If you are lucky I will post a video. I am working from parts of chapter 2 and chapter 10 in the Parenting On Track program.
Monday, December 14, 2009
What to do when...
What do I do when my middle child uses tantrums and whining to get my attention? What do I do when my child's first word is "NO"? What I do when my oldest takes to yelling?
I spin around in circles like that cartoon Tasmanian devil. Do you remember that cartoon? Does that get me anywhere? "NO". Why do I keep doing it?
All those actions I described above are learned behaviors. I ask myself what skills do my children need in order to learn "USEFUL" behaviors? Then I make a list.
Then I ask myself, what is it going to take for me to give up my "USELESS" behaviors? Then I make a list.
If you already own Parenting On Track then you will go now to chapter 6 on the curcial C's. If you don't already own Parenting On Track then get it!!!
I will let you know how it goes!
I spin around in circles like that cartoon Tasmanian devil. Do you remember that cartoon? Does that get me anywhere? "NO". Why do I keep doing it?
All those actions I described above are learned behaviors. I ask myself what skills do my children need in order to learn "USEFUL" behaviors? Then I make a list.
Then I ask myself, what is it going to take for me to give up my "USELESS" behaviors? Then I make a list.
If you already own Parenting On Track then you will go now to chapter 6 on the curcial C's. If you don't already own Parenting On Track then get it!!!
I will let you know how it goes!
Friday, December 11, 2009
Yesterday: 2 showings, 2 swim classes and one crazy day
How did I do it? I was stressed, my kids were stressed and it was hard. They rallied though through my frustrations. I looked out the window at one point and they were shoveling the front porch. Nice!
What was not so nice was the tantrums when we got in the car or the refusal to put jackets on. Those were the tough moments but all in all the good moments won. My best idea of the day was when I put them all in the office with three different kinds of cereal and rented The Polar Express, on-line, and bingo three happy children, one happy mom! I felt very smart. In fact, it was a supermom moment.
Did I mention the showings were scheduled at 3:15pm and 6:30pm, the worst times possible for a woman and three kids under the age of 4!
What was not so nice was the tantrums when we got in the car or the refusal to put jackets on. Those were the tough moments but all in all the good moments won. My best idea of the day was when I put them all in the office with three different kinds of cereal and rented The Polar Express, on-line, and bingo three happy children, one happy mom! I felt very smart. In fact, it was a supermom moment.
Did I mention the showings were scheduled at 3:15pm and 6:30pm, the worst times possible for a woman and three kids under the age of 4!
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Made it...
Everyone is healthy. Now it is time to re-teach and re-train!
Good times. When my kids are sick we usually throw all routines away. Now that they are healthy my husband and I get to re-train the kids on everything from sleeping in their own beds to the morning routines. I am not sure which is tougher, sick kids or re-training them on everything they already knew how to do. Here is a trick that I have learned through Parenting On Track, first, re-training takes time. I have to go slow. Having an attention span of a bird that is difficult for me. Second, the holidays are the worst time to train children of any age.
Looks like it will be January before our house is back to normal. In the meantime, when my kids loose it I have to remember that it is okay to treat them to a little extra one-on-one time, a little play time or a cookie here or there. I look at the weeks between Thanksgiving and the New Year as my opportunity to stop multitasking and focus as best I can! All this and more is what I have learned from Parenting On Track. We love it and live it!
Good times. When my kids are sick we usually throw all routines away. Now that they are healthy my husband and I get to re-train the kids on everything from sleeping in their own beds to the morning routines. I am not sure which is tougher, sick kids or re-training them on everything they already knew how to do. Here is a trick that I have learned through Parenting On Track, first, re-training takes time. I have to go slow. Having an attention span of a bird that is difficult for me. Second, the holidays are the worst time to train children of any age.
Looks like it will be January before our house is back to normal. In the meantime, when my kids loose it I have to remember that it is okay to treat them to a little extra one-on-one time, a little play time or a cookie here or there. I look at the weeks between Thanksgiving and the New Year as my opportunity to stop multitasking and focus as best I can! All this and more is what I have learned from Parenting On Track. We love it and live it!
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
When kids are sick
When my kids all came down with the seasonal flu the day before Thanksgiving and the Realtor called and ask to show the house (yes our house is for sale. Check it out MLS ID #2909285) and it was raining and 40 degrees. I knew the next 5-7 days were going to be dicey. As I have learned through Parenting On Track now is the time to eat ice cream. This means that when all three kids are crying, it is 3 am and your husband has the flu too, it is time to gather you children snuggle up and sing a song.
To combat any "woe is me" feelings this week I have been going to bed at 8pm, working out once a day, showering and putting on clean clothes! I even put a bit of perfume on to top it off!
If I had recorded this morning's off to school routine, it would have sounded like this: WHAAAAAA, from child #2, POUT from child #1(at least she was quiet), and HACKING COUGH from child #3. Ahhh, it was the sweet sounds of our home at 7:30am after 5 days of lying on the couch sick with the flu.
My husband and I did such a good job. We shut our mouths and moved our bodies away from crying children for a good 45 minutes. It was tough. Once in the car, child #2 had on the same shirt she slept in, but I decided that was what she wanted and I ignored it. I put on Curious George and all was quite.
Will that work every time? NO. Did it work once? YES. Will I do that again? NO. Here is the secret: do something different next time. Child #2 was waiting to see how long it took mommy and daddy to flip out. Okay we flipped out but we made it better in the end.
Looking back I am not remembering what I did "wrong". I am remembering the little faces listening to Curious George and the hugs I gave them before school and what we could do after school today to make it a great day.
Maybe make them breakfast for dinner!
To combat any "woe is me" feelings this week I have been going to bed at 8pm, working out once a day, showering and putting on clean clothes! I even put a bit of perfume on to top it off!
If I had recorded this morning's off to school routine, it would have sounded like this: WHAAAAAA, from child #2, POUT from child #1(at least she was quiet), and HACKING COUGH from child #3. Ahhh, it was the sweet sounds of our home at 7:30am after 5 days of lying on the couch sick with the flu.
My husband and I did such a good job. We shut our mouths and moved our bodies away from crying children for a good 45 minutes. It was tough. Once in the car, child #2 had on the same shirt she slept in, but I decided that was what she wanted and I ignored it. I put on Curious George and all was quite.
Will that work every time? NO. Did it work once? YES. Will I do that again? NO. Here is the secret: do something different next time. Child #2 was waiting to see how long it took mommy and daddy to flip out. Okay we flipped out but we made it better in the end.
Looking back I am not remembering what I did "wrong". I am remembering the little faces listening to Curious George and the hugs I gave them before school and what we could do after school today to make it a great day.
Maybe make them breakfast for dinner!
Monday, November 30, 2009
Nothing Better Than Friends
I am thankful for Vicki Hoefle today. Yes, she created the Parenting On Track program and yes she supports me on my parenting journey. Having her support is absolutely the best. I totally recommend it.
The 3 imps are all sick today. One with croup and the others with flu. This morning we took the routine slowly. I have learned the best way to handle the days when all three are sick is to put all things aside and get down on the floor and play with them. It is not an easy task for me. I have the attention span of a bird and I am always doing something!
By the way, the Parenting On Track program comes with Vicki! You get your own personal coach through it all for one year. I am thankful for that!
The 3 imps are all sick today. One with croup and the others with flu. This morning we took the routine slowly. I have learned the best way to handle the days when all three are sick is to put all things aside and get down on the floor and play with them. It is not an easy task for me. I have the attention span of a bird and I am always doing something!
By the way, the Parenting On Track program comes with Vicki! You get your own personal coach through it all for one year. I am thankful for that!
Monday, November 23, 2009
Sharing? I don't like to share
I am 37 years old and I don't like to share all the time. Why do we expect our kids to share everything all the time, especially when we are at "PLAY DATES"?
Anyway, similar to training my kids to contribute around the house I have also invested in teaching them how to share, how to compromise, and how to meet the needs of the situation. First, they don't do it all the time and that is okay because I don't share all the time. In fact, yesterday, you could have caught me not sharing a cookie. I ate it ALL while hiding from my kids.
Second, the video you are about to watch exemplifies progress not perfection. I have learned through the Parenting On Track program that when I focus my attention on the progress not the perfection, I am much more effective as a parent. You will see in this video kids being coaching on compromising and understanding.
Today they are 4 and 3 years old. They share maybe 60% of the time, they compromise about 20% of the time and the other 20% they try out other ways! Now I believe that is progress. Love it.
Anyway, similar to training my kids to contribute around the house I have also invested in teaching them how to share, how to compromise, and how to meet the needs of the situation. First, they don't do it all the time and that is okay because I don't share all the time. In fact, yesterday, you could have caught me not sharing a cookie. I ate it ALL while hiding from my kids.
Second, the video you are about to watch exemplifies progress not perfection. I have learned through the Parenting On Track program that when I focus my attention on the progress not the perfection, I am much more effective as a parent. You will see in this video kids being coaching on compromising and understanding.
Today they are 4 and 3 years old. They share maybe 60% of the time, they compromise about 20% of the time and the other 20% they try out other ways! Now I believe that is progress. Love it.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Working myself out of a job?
Working myself out of a job is what I call training my children to take care of themselves or take care of their responsibilities. Here is a video of my little one
Today my girls are 3 and 4 years old. They contribute when I ask and when I don't. That is a huge help. It was Parenting On Track that taught me how to take time for training, how to lower my expectations and focus on the process not the finished product.
Today my girls are 3 and 4 years old. They contribute when I ask and when I don't. That is a huge help. It was Parenting On Track that taught me how to take time for training, how to lower my expectations and focus on the process not the finished product.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
A Look back at the early days
I can't remember what it looked like in my house when I decided that this Parenting On Track lady may be on to something. I remember meeting Vicki at an elementary teacher conference. She was the speaker and I was the eager second grade teacher ready to start my school year. After about ten seconds of listening to her say, "Time out was originally designed for adults", I tuned her out and went back to planning. Although I did not have kids of my own, I did have some teaching experience and I LOVED time out. Very long story short: I called her in tears two months later wanting her help!
I implemented her strategies in my classroom ever since and then when I had children of my own - well I was a groupy. My first theory to test: "When they can walk, they can work." Here are some of my early home videos. Not the usual video mind you.
I implemented her strategies in my classroom ever since and then when I had children of my own - well I was a groupy. My first theory to test: "When they can walk, they can work." Here are some of my early home videos. Not the usual video mind you.
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