Last few weeks my oldest went through a stage of being late for school and wearing the same outfit all week. Then my middle child decides she doesn't want to go to school or pack her lunch. These things I call "IT" can be annoying, hurtful, and frustrating.
What I know is that everything is a phase as long as I don't focus too much on whatever "IT" is. I know "IT" will go away. I keep teaching and training and the kids will keep learning. In the last two weeks it was late for school because of noodling in the morning. Now "IT"is not falling asleep until 8:30pm but I know this too shall pass.
I am about to go up stairs to say good night for the 3rd time. Just another "IT" I can't wait for my kids to grow out of.
These old pictures are a reminder that they will grow into the things that are useful to the running of our household as long as I have faith in their abilities.
It was great last week because I supported my oldest when she decided to wear the same outfit 4 days in a row. (Due to technical difficulties I can't upload the images I had of her smiling face and the outfit she picked. Sorry.)
We made it on time to school more often and had great conversations while walking to class. It was awesome. This week, it is Tuesday, she has done the clothes thing herself with no noodling thus far!
All in all three weeks of being late, one week of the same outfit, three runs to the children's second hand store to find clothes that work (which was my first mistake) and now things seem to work for her and me as a result. Now I can keep focusing on supporting our relationship while moving through these obstacles that pop up.
I am sure we will go back to noodling again and being late again but for now, life is good.
Share your late stories too. Heck, teach them the consequences of being late while they are young and the stakes are low!
Here is what a "Do over" looked like in my house. The balance in our house has been somewhat blown off course for a short while since school started, I am launching a business and we are moving! It was Vicki Hoefle who inspired my "Do over" - thanks again to Parenting On Track!
Morning Routine: 2 out of the 3 were crying. Nothing was going right. Tears were in my eyes. So what did we do? a DO OVER! I picked them up and we snuggled on the couch until everyone was calm. We watch a bit of t.v. to get our minds off the thing that was wrong and BINGO. It was like a light switched in them and the smiles and giggles were back. Not kidding. Dropped one off late to school, but who cares, she was happy and our relationship was intact.
I don't have a picture of the lovely moment but believe me in that it was blissful. Try it the next time all of them are crying. Good Luck.
1. When school got out I changed my work schedule to be present with my kids even though I launched EIO Products just as the kids were getting out of school. Crazy!
2. I learned to throw out the school routine of bedtime and wake time and started the summer routines, with help from the kids
3. I learned quickly that I needed time to get used to this new routine. I could tell I was not used to the loose routine of summer as I started to yell at my kids. They brought that to family meeting and asked me to stop getting mad.
4. I learned that being present with my kids meant that I gave up the things that pulled my away from them: I stopped blogging and I stopped talking n the phone when I was playing with my kids. Those two things paid off in HUGE ways. HUGE.
5. I learned AGAIN that the family routine will get way out of control sometimes as kids grow up and try on new personalities BUT with consistent family meetings we can get that routine back to a comfortable place.
6. I learned that no matter what age kids are they really do love REAL JOBS that contribute to the success of the family. My kids age 2,4,5 contributed to the launching of the EIO Kids Cup. They packed boxes, they assembled cups, they stuck labels on and they LOVED it.
NEW Tricks:
1. Have an iPod handy and when they are all nagging or crying put it on and tune out!
2. Have jobs for your kids that are real but ask them if they would like to help.
3. Have relaxing time with a hobby, passion or friends and leave the house or put the kids to bed to do it.
Thanks again to Parenting On Track! They continue to create a community of parents who support each other, solve problems together and laugh a lot!
I think I am realizing my oldest girls are not babies anymore. I just signed Tela up for kindergarten and now this week I am posting pictures from the old days of training the kids. Corney!
Anyway, here is another view of little ones attempting to set the table and wash the table. The independence Parenting On Track has help me create is definitely paying off.
These days we have a 3rd child running around, who is 1.5, and I am trying to start a business. When I am working and they want a snack the routine is in place where the girls can get it, eat it, and clean up after it. I would not be able to work at home with three young kids without the help I have received from Vicki Hoefle! Thank you.
Here is Sadie at 2.5 learning to carry the milk to the table. Freaking out and taking the gallon of milk away from her would have squashed her excitement.
At young ages kids want to learn but they don't have any skills. She managed to drag the milk to the table and I lifted it up for her. That is where I believe the training starts. I sat at the dinner table watching the whole thing, okay so I had to get up to get a camera, but I did not interfere. Sadie is now 4 and getting her own drink comes naturally to her. I do remember having to close the fridge door a lot in the early days.
I wanted to share this to give people a sense of the time line for training that Vicki Hoefle talks about. It doesn't happen over night, in one week or one year. It happens just over time and all kids being different will need more or less help along the way.
Okay, so here is a perfect example of how smart and quick kids are.
Kathy takes her 3 kids to the kiddie pool during her recent stay in Florida. Zack, a new walker, tries to follow his sisters into the center of the pool.
Unfortunately for Zack, he has only been on his feet for a few short weeks (still wobbly), the bottom of his little shoes are slippery and the kiddie pool has a decidedly deceptive slope “down” to the center.
Zack enters the pool to follow said sisters. His feet come out from under him and SMASH. Down on his ass he goes knocking his head on the bottom of the pool.
Mom walks over to the child on his ass. She didn’t run. She didn’t scream. She didn’t grab him up. Why? Because she knows her kid. The other parents in attendance jumped up to “assist” Zack, but Kathy used non-verbal tools to get all the busy bodies to sit down and mind their own business.
She holds Zack by the hand, lifts him up, puts him on his feet at the edge of the pool and sits back down.
Zack takes a few steps towards the center of the pool and SMACK. Down he goes again.
This happens approximately 6 times. No tears. Frustration to be sure, but Kathy is quickly by his side, Quick hug, quick smooch and off he goes again.
Until suddenly, left on his own to figure this problem out, this smart, clever, creative, determined young 14 month old figures out that he has to sit on his ass and scoot towards the center of the kiddie pool.
For the next 2 weeks, remembering what he learned all on his own, Zack enjoys the pool. In fact, he practiced every time they went to the pool and inevitably, some parent would approach Kathy and comment on how clever Zack was for scooting into the pool and asked her “so how long did it take you to teach him that?” To which she promptly broke out in gut busting laughter.
I asked her why the gut busting laughter – her reply “Can you just see me sitting MY ass down in the pee filled kiddie pool and teaching my kid to scoot down to the center? No way that was gonna happen.”
Here is what she knows, what I know and what the parents of the Parenting On Track family know:
Kids are their own best teachers and when parents provide opportunities to practice, well, kids find their own perfect solutions.
Way to go Zack!
